God works in strange ways
I designed and launched this blog several weeks ago but I have been having a hard time composing my first post. I have several drafts saved on different topics, none of them finished, but none of them felt right. Now I have something that I need to share.
I have a friend who struggles with mental illness. We became acquainted in an unusual way and led to a friendship starting in a way that could only be a God thing. We have known each other for about three years now and our wives have become close friends too. My friend, lets call him Tom, has had a habit of ruining friendships after while when people get too close. He has tried this a couple of times with me over the years but apparently I'm too stubborn to run away. Well, he was very close to success this time.
You see, through Tom's struggle with mental illness he has always degraded himself to himself and others. As have gotten to know him better I have recognized that he has been in a self-defeating cycle for a long time where he can't work because of his mental illness, but his lack of productivity fed his mental illness. The problem was that I didn't know how to break through the walls that he had built up around himself.
Lately though, as I have been called to battle in the spiritual realm for my own kids (more on that another time) I came to realize, through God's leading, that Tom's issues were both mental illness and demonic oppression.
Now at this point I had not seen Tom for about a year and had not communicated with him for about six months, though I had been praying for him and he was brought to my mind often. I had grown so frustrated with Tom that I had withdrawn from him, and this was fine with him as he had again been trying to withdraw from me. But I felt that I had to let him know that I was still thinking about him and praying for him, so I sent him a short email stating just that and nothing else. Tom responded back and everything was cordial, but the email was full of self-deprecation and he sounded completely defeated.
Then I did something stupid, or at least that I thought was needed at the time and later felt horrible for doing. I responded to his email by telling him that I believed that he was demonically inhabited and that if he didn't deal with the demons, get his family back to church instead of socially withdrawing them and get help from a Christian counselor, that he was subjecting his family to a lifetime of grief and I called him selfish for wallowing in his self pity and dragging his family with him. WHAT WAS I THINKING?! He was obviously furious at me and proceeded to tear apart my accusation based upon his Clergy training and the opinions of friends of his in regards to his spiritual health. Basically, he and his friends tested if he was possessed with demons and he passed their tests, I had neither the right nor the training to make such a diagnosis of his spiritual health and he used Scripture to build his case against my diagnosis.
He went on to tell me that my email upset his family, that I don't know how to talk to someone with mental illness, that I had wielded Scripture like an axe and that I was assuming that he was not actively seeking a Christian Counselor to help him. He also attacked me with words that I had supposedly said to him (I hadn't) which a friend should never say to another friend, quoted more Scripture at me and apologized for whatever it was that he had done that had caused me to feel that I needed to lash out at him. It was a long email, and it hurt. I felt that most of what he said was unfounded, which led me to further believe that I was right and I had hit a nerve. But I also felt that he was right in the way that I had wielded the Scriptures, except that I felt it had been more like a 15 lb sledge hammer than an axe.
I responded with a short email refuting a few of the major points of his arguments and then resigned myself to retreat and disappear. While I did not feel as though what I had done was wrong, I was afraid that the way I had done it had not been by the Holy Spirit's leading and that I had potentially done more harm than any good that had been my intentions. The conversation ended with one more response from him and a quick "I'm sorry" from me a couple of days later.
Then today happened. I was working at home and felt that I needed to make a better apology to him, but I didn't believe that he would speak to me in person, so I prepared to write one more email. As I reread our conversation in order to get my thoughts straightened out, I felt that I was not supposed to apologize. So I closed my email and worked on other stuff. I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to pray fervently for Tom. I didn't know why or about what but I immediately secluded myself and prayed, lifting Tom to God for an unknown reason. This lasted about 5 - 10 minutes before I felt a physical pressure on my chest to go and see Tom, like something bad had just happened and he needed help. I drove to his house and started ringing the doorbell and banging on the door until he finally came to see who it was. When he saw it was me he said that he didn't think I should be there. I told him that I needed to know if he was alright. He opened the door and told me that I should probably leave. I told him that I would leave right away as long as I knew that he was alright. After a short pause he invited me in and said "I don't think this is working", referring to our friendship, and I agreed with him, but I told him that I had felt the undeniable urge to check on him and we went upstairs.
That began a five hour visit in which I discovered that he had come to the realization that I had been right about the demonic oppression, he had dealt with it and was diving into God's Word. He assured me that what I had felt had been a disaster of an intervention had actually been exactly what has been needed to break through his Seminary training and the demonic veil and open his eyes to the truth of his condition! He recognized that he was indeed oppressed and wallowing and he has made a commitment to discard his sinful ways and seek God as he was supposed to do. It was an amazing time of emotional, spiritual and relational healing for both of us. He revealed things to me that he had been dealing with around this ordeal and we parted having made the commitment to hold each other up in prayer and to battle together against the forces that were attacking him.
I share this to not only show that my God is an amazing God, but that he can use abrupt, ham fisted people to accomplish His Will, as much as we may think we may have messed it up beyond recovery.
I have a friend who struggles with mental illness. We became acquainted in an unusual way and led to a friendship starting in a way that could only be a God thing. We have known each other for about three years now and our wives have become close friends too. My friend, lets call him Tom, has had a habit of ruining friendships after while when people get too close. He has tried this a couple of times with me over the years but apparently I'm too stubborn to run away. Well, he was very close to success this time.
You see, through Tom's struggle with mental illness he has always degraded himself to himself and others. As have gotten to know him better I have recognized that he has been in a self-defeating cycle for a long time where he can't work because of his mental illness, but his lack of productivity fed his mental illness. The problem was that I didn't know how to break through the walls that he had built up around himself.
Lately though, as I have been called to battle in the spiritual realm for my own kids (more on that another time) I came to realize, through God's leading, that Tom's issues were both mental illness and demonic oppression.
Now at this point I had not seen Tom for about a year and had not communicated with him for about six months, though I had been praying for him and he was brought to my mind often. I had grown so frustrated with Tom that I had withdrawn from him, and this was fine with him as he had again been trying to withdraw from me. But I felt that I had to let him know that I was still thinking about him and praying for him, so I sent him a short email stating just that and nothing else. Tom responded back and everything was cordial, but the email was full of self-deprecation and he sounded completely defeated.
Then I did something stupid, or at least that I thought was needed at the time and later felt horrible for doing. I responded to his email by telling him that I believed that he was demonically inhabited and that if he didn't deal with the demons, get his family back to church instead of socially withdrawing them and get help from a Christian counselor, that he was subjecting his family to a lifetime of grief and I called him selfish for wallowing in his self pity and dragging his family with him. WHAT WAS I THINKING?! He was obviously furious at me and proceeded to tear apart my accusation based upon his Clergy training and the opinions of friends of his in regards to his spiritual health. Basically, he and his friends tested if he was possessed with demons and he passed their tests, I had neither the right nor the training to make such a diagnosis of his spiritual health and he used Scripture to build his case against my diagnosis.
He went on to tell me that my email upset his family, that I don't know how to talk to someone with mental illness, that I had wielded Scripture like an axe and that I was assuming that he was not actively seeking a Christian Counselor to help him. He also attacked me with words that I had supposedly said to him (I hadn't) which a friend should never say to another friend, quoted more Scripture at me and apologized for whatever it was that he had done that had caused me to feel that I needed to lash out at him. It was a long email, and it hurt. I felt that most of what he said was unfounded, which led me to further believe that I was right and I had hit a nerve. But I also felt that he was right in the way that I had wielded the Scriptures, except that I felt it had been more like a 15 lb sledge hammer than an axe.
I responded with a short email refuting a few of the major points of his arguments and then resigned myself to retreat and disappear. While I did not feel as though what I had done was wrong, I was afraid that the way I had done it had not been by the Holy Spirit's leading and that I had potentially done more harm than any good that had been my intentions. The conversation ended with one more response from him and a quick "I'm sorry" from me a couple of days later.
Then today happened. I was working at home and felt that I needed to make a better apology to him, but I didn't believe that he would speak to me in person, so I prepared to write one more email. As I reread our conversation in order to get my thoughts straightened out, I felt that I was not supposed to apologize. So I closed my email and worked on other stuff. I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to pray fervently for Tom. I didn't know why or about what but I immediately secluded myself and prayed, lifting Tom to God for an unknown reason. This lasted about 5 - 10 minutes before I felt a physical pressure on my chest to go and see Tom, like something bad had just happened and he needed help. I drove to his house and started ringing the doorbell and banging on the door until he finally came to see who it was. When he saw it was me he said that he didn't think I should be there. I told him that I needed to know if he was alright. He opened the door and told me that I should probably leave. I told him that I would leave right away as long as I knew that he was alright. After a short pause he invited me in and said "I don't think this is working", referring to our friendship, and I agreed with him, but I told him that I had felt the undeniable urge to check on him and we went upstairs.
That began a five hour visit in which I discovered that he had come to the realization that I had been right about the demonic oppression, he had dealt with it and was diving into God's Word. He assured me that what I had felt had been a disaster of an intervention had actually been exactly what has been needed to break through his Seminary training and the demonic veil and open his eyes to the truth of his condition! He recognized that he was indeed oppressed and wallowing and he has made a commitment to discard his sinful ways and seek God as he was supposed to do. It was an amazing time of emotional, spiritual and relational healing for both of us. He revealed things to me that he had been dealing with around this ordeal and we parted having made the commitment to hold each other up in prayer and to battle together against the forces that were attacking him.
I share this to not only show that my God is an amazing God, but that he can use abrupt, ham fisted people to accomplish His Will, as much as we may think we may have messed it up beyond recovery.
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