GCD Short - Discipline Begins Early

 

 It seems as though parents think that a child should only be disciplined when they are "older". There isn't really any specific age at which the child is "older", rather it appears that it is in the determination of the parent at what point the child has attained this magical stage. For some parents this may be when the child begins to understand words, or maybe when they are able to indicate a simple desire or need, such as hunger. There also seem to be some parents who think that a child is not old enough to be disciplined until they go to school, or attain adolescence or, so it seems, until they graduate high school, in which case they simply state that their child is now too old to be disciplined, shirking any responsibility for their entitled and spoiled adult child. This is not only lazy parenting, but is absolutely irresponsible!

My position is that a child is old enough to be disciplined as soon as they start to assert their own will and can recognize that there is something that they don't like. This happens EARLY!! I am too far out of the diaper stage of life to remember which tends to come first; spoon feeding or rolling over, but these are probably the two places in which a child will assert themselves first. They will either be spitting out their food or they will try to get away while you are changing their diaper. Every child will spit out food that you are feeding to them and every single child will inevitably start to wriggle to try to get away while their diaper is getting changed, especially once they start to turn themselves over onto their stomach.This is where discipline starts.

If the child is spitting out the food, a mild pat on their mouth right away, though probably needing to be repeated several times in any given feeding, along with a firm "No" should indicate to them that their actions are not acceptable. If this is not effective, then meal time is over. Don't worry, they won't starve, but they will figure out that actions have consequences. Contrarily, if the mouth pat is effective, you can reward them with something that they like after the meal is completed and they have eaten a satisfactory amount. But don't give them this thing when they remain defiant as a way to appease them or calm them down; you do not want to reward bad behaviour, you want to reward good behaviour.

If they try to escape while you are changing their diaper, you need to immediately give them a little swat right on their plump little thigh or butt cheek along with saying a firm "No". This does not hurt them. God has given them under-developed pain sensors and cute little rolls, so they will feel their whole little body move a little, they may feel a little sting and they will hear the smack along with your "No" as well as your body language and stern look on your face. They won't like this and may even start to cry the first few times you do it, but they will quickly find out what it means and will learn to settle down without even a whimper when you do need to swat them, which will lead to absolute obedience in this very quickly. Nobody wants to wrestle with a 25 lb, poop covered two year old, and this can be avoided with quick and early discipline.

The biggest keys to these, and any other disciplines, are timing and consistency. Act immediately so the child associates what they are doing wrong with the discipline. If you wait until they have stopped, they may associate stopping with the discipline which is entirely self-defeating. You also must react in the same way to the same misbehaviour so the child correctly associates the discipline with the punishment.

YOU HAVE TO START YOUNG! I cannot stress this too much. You will recognize when your child is asserting their own will and you must teach your child that their will is subject to your will. If you don't do this, then you will always be fighting your child for even the smallest gesture of obedience, and you will run out of patience long before they run out of will-power.

Discipline is an endurance race, not a sprint. If you slack off, you will pay the price long before your child does, but they will eventually pay the price too.