What Does It Mean To Seek God

 

 I have recently disclosed to those who may be reading my ramblings that I have not been working. It has now been five years since I have worked other than a little bit of casual stuff in 2020. This has not been by my own will, but in submission to God. I have had quite a few people challenge me in this, using Scripture that states that "If a man does not work, he should not eat" (2 Thess. 3:10). They also state that even the Apostle Paul worked as a tent maker while in the ministry (Acts 18:3). I cannot deny these arguments. But what people fail to discern is that just two verses later in Acts 18, in verse five, we read, "But when Silas and Timothy came down from Macedonia, Paul began devoting himself completely to the word". So Paul acted according to his calling and relied on God to provide for his needs. We also see that the nation of Israel relied on God for 40 years in the wilderness, where He did not let them go hungry nor did their clothes even wear out (Deut. 8:4). I am not stating all of this in defence of my actions, because I believe that God has called me to this for a time, but simply to point out that others have challenged me in this, but I still believe that this is where I am supposed to be. I am called to this for now, but not likely forever.

This has been a hard road to walk. It has been incredibly difficult to remain sedentary for five years while others work and earn and build their lives. I have family members with classic cars and cabins and vacations and retirement savings which they have bought and built with their earnings. I have had everything of monetary value taken from me and I have had no opportunity to build up the same types of things because of my choices, and I will likely spend the next twenty years of my life working to scrape out a meagre retirement once I am released to work again, unless God has other plans. This is besides the fact that I enjoy working with my hands, building and fixing things and being otherwise productive. People who are looking in from the outside have no idea how difficult it is to walk this road even though they may see it as some type of vacation for me. I have a level of jealousy towards many of them simply for their ability to go to work everyday, strange as that may seem to many of you.

I have often asked God if He will release me into the workforce again, and even to do so immediately. Sometimes the pressures build to the point where I ask Him this for several days in a row, even several times a day. He has granted me peace for the last year or so through the gift of enough funds to cover our needs over that time, but a sedentary lifestyle is not my idea of a good time, and as I am watching the funds slowly disappear, some of my old fears have come to the surface again. It's funny how we can see God act on our behalf over and over again and still have fear that He will somehow fail us this time.

Just a few days ago as I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, I was again asking God about this, lamenting that my funds are running low and expressing concern that He might be leading my family into destitution again. I've been there; I never want to be there again. I have often heard God answer my pleas with responses like "I've go this", and "Trust Me", and "I have good plans for you". On this night I asked God for an encouraging Scripture verse and He responded with "Jeremiah", then He paused. I was thinking "What verse in Jeremiah could I get encouragement from?" when He said "29", and He paused again. At this point my mind said, "Please don't say 11". For those who don't know what Jeremiah 29:11 says off the top of your head, it says,"For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.".

Now you may be saying to yourself, "But that is a good verse to encourage someone who is in a tough spot", and it is. This is part of God's message to the Israelite exiles who were brought to Babylon in which He sets a time frame for their exile (70 years), and promises that life will be good for them. I have appreciated this verse many times, and I have received it from God many times, but even when the message is from God, hearing the same verses (or phrases) over and over again can become monotonous and they can lose their impact. You can even begin to wonder if your own mind is pulling up these verses and phrases due to previous repetition. You can begin to wonder if you are even hearing God or not.

So I was not looking forward to hearing God finish His reference to His own Word; but He surprised me. He finished with "13".

Okay, that's different. I know Jeremiah 29:11 by heart, but I have no idea what Jeremiah 29:13 says off the top of my head. So I got out of bed, grabbed my Bible and looked it up. Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." Well, not necessarily the encouragement I was looking for, but it is a promise.

I have spent the next several days of my devotion time digging into this. There is no historical backdrop to this that can shed light on it, so there are no clues to God's message to me there. So I started just looking at what this could mean for me by asking questions. But first, let's look at the language of this verse.

"And you will seek" is the Hebrew word "baquash" (H1245 in Strong's Concordance Dictionary), which means to "search out (by any method, specifically in worship or prayer); by implication to strive after: ask, beg, desire, make inquisition". This is a specific and intentional act. I think of the woman in Jesus' illustration in Luke 15 who is searching for a lost coin, or the shepherd searching for his lost sheep. This is a desperate and intentional act. (Jesus' context for these illustrations is the joy in Heaven at one person coming to God, but my context for indicating these verses is the desperation of the searching itself).

Further on in the verse we see "[when] you seek Me" which is the Hebrew word "darash" (H1875), which means "properly to tread or frequent; usually to follow (for pursuit or search)". This word choice shows us that this is not to be a stagnant effort, like you are waiting and watching for someone to join you at a restaurant, but that you are still actively searching for it like a treasure hunter, following wherever it may lead you. This also indicates a long-suffering attitude towards the search, not expecting to conclude the search imminently, but dedicated to the duration.

My conversation with God about Jeremiah 29:13 started with my own thoughts about my pursuit of God. Have I been seeking Him with my whole heart, or have I allowed myself to become distracted by the cares of this life or my own desires for what I wish I was actually doing right now? As I mentioned, I have allowed my own fears to creep back into my thoughts. God has again granted me a peace that surpasses understanding in this matter, but I need to also make sure that my thoughts do not drag me back down that path again. I know that I will fail at this again, but I must still hold onto the peace that I have received anew.

Then came the first of my questions to try to understand what God is telling me in this verse at this time; "What does it mean to seek God?" In our quest to seek God, we are often told to find a place and time to quiet ourselves in His presence, along with suggestions on how to do this, and I agree that this is an important part of seeking God. But, does it not also include the pursuit of walking as He has instructed us to? This is not only the instructions that we find in His written Word (logos), but also His spoken Word to us (rhema). I have received instructions from Him for what he expects me to do. Does it not make sense that acting as I have been instructed to do is a way to seek Him? If a teenager disobeys a parent, does that not put a wedge in their relationship? Then it should make sense that obedience will strengthen the bond of the relationship.

To this end, Scripture tells us that we are to pursue righteousness and sanctification, in large part by casting off our sinful habits. Accepting Christ as our Saviour is only a first step, we are to pursue more through the rest of our life. I think this qualifies as seeking God.

My next question was "How do we seek God?" We do this by reading His Word to us daily and by meditating on it. I know, what a great insight! But how many people struggle with making this a part of their daily routine? I hear it all the time. People know that they are supposed to be reading God's Word, but if time is not intentionally carved out (remember the intentionality of seeking Him?) then the day gets away from us and we don't have the energy to put into it at the end of the day. My suggestion is to carve out time in the morning before you do anything else. David says in Psalm 5:3 "In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch." Yes, this means setting your alarm 10, 15, 30+ minutes earlier, but I believe that you will find that it's worth it once it becomes something that you look forward to instead of something that you "have to do"; and it will if you devote yourself to it. I promise.

With this time of reading comes a time of prayer, not only where we bring our laundry list of prayer items to Him, but also to let Him know what our heart desires. If you keep a record of your requests to Him, you will likely find that those desires will undergo a change over the years as you look back over your record. And in our time of prayer we should remember to praise Him, because He is worthy of our praise. I will admit that this is something that I struggle to do. Even with my family, praise and encouragement do not cross my lips like they should.

My third question was "How do we know that we have found God?" The first answer that I came up with was that we will have peace in our circumstances. God will also speak encouragement, guidance and discipline to us when we are in relationship with Him. This will not always be in words or even directly from Him, but He will sometimes breathe into us or use others as His mouthpiece. I believe that we will also know that we have found God when we are lead wordlessly by the Holy Spirit. We will feel His nudging us in a certain direction or to a certain person and we will recognize that it is the Holy Spirit. Sometimes we will determine the reason for this, which is a cool experience, and other times we will never know why we were supposed to go or act as we felt lead to.

I then wrestled with what it means to search for God "with all your heart". We use this phrase outside of a religious context. I think that in order to do anything "with all your heart" is for that thing to be the utmost desire for us, that everything else flows from that. So to find, obey and please God is to be our most earnest desire, and that everything that we say and do is coloured by that desire.

So, "what does that look like?" It starts with the pursuit of relationship with God. God is our creator, but He is also our Father. What good father does not desire to have a relationship with his children? This means spending time together. Carrying each others' burdens; this is a two-way relationship. When we are children most of us do not carry many of God's burdens, but as we mature and our relationship with God grows, we will begin to carry the burdens that He carries for the lost, the weak, the confused and the unborn. He has so many more burdens than we do, but He will place one or two burdens on our heart that we can carry it with Him and we can be His hands and feet to try to make a difference in our world. He will not overburden us with all of His cares the way that we can do to Him, but as we share our burdens with Him, take some time to hear what His burdens are as well.

Communication is also key to any relationship. Friends can lose touch, families can become alienated and marriages will fall apart when there is no communication, and communication involves both talking and listening; another two-way transaction. God wants to hear from us, but He also wants us to make time to listen to Him. He will not only speak to us during our carved out quiet time, but as our relationship matures, we will talk to and hear from God many times throughout the day.

I also believe that the desire for worldly things will fall away from us as we draw closer to God. This doesn't mean that we will not want to have certain things, and it also doesn't mean that God does not want those things for us, but that those things will not be a motivating factor for us. We see in Scripture that God allows some of those who are the close to Him to acquire great wealth, but we also see that those people do not seem to see the acquisition of wealth as something to strive for.

The last thing that I came up with regarding what it looks like when we seek God with all of our heart is that our heart for others will grow and soften as the things that are important to Him will become more important to us. Service to others will be an outflow of this. That service will take the form of helping, ministering to and meeting the needs of others.

So while I continue to wait in this time of relying on God to meet my needs, I guess that He is prompting me to seek Him more intentionally. This is, after all, a journey, not a destination.

If you have been encouraged by what you have read here, please let me know by leaving a comment below.